Southern BBQ Plate

HI ALL!! It has been a long time since I have posted a recipe for you all & I am truly sorry for that... sometimes life just really gets to you & it's hard to do something you love.... well here we go. Here is what we have tonight- vegan bbq seitan ribs, mashed garlic potatoes with mushroom gravy, chipotle mac and cheez, and with a side of steamed lemon/garlic kale.

Let's keep it simple- you can check out my mashed potato and gravy recipe here !!!

For the steamed garlic/lemon kale-

1 full bunch of purple kale - chopped

2 cloves of garlic minced

1/2 a lemon juice

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/2 black pepper

Add the minced garlic to a lightly oil pan and let brown on medium/to low heat for 3-4 minutes. After that, add the chopped up kale, salt & pep, and put a lid on that baby. After a few minutes squeeze that half of lemon over the top~ sometimes I like to put a couple pinches of nooch(nutritional yeast) over the top! Super easy and yummy.

OKAY HERE IS THE STAR- THE GOD DAMN VEGAN BBQ "RIBZ" HOLY SHIT!

It's honestly so fucking easy... believe me.

Ingredients-

2 cups of Vital Wheat Gluten

4 table spoons of nooch

4 teaspoons of paprika (I had smoked)

5 teaspoons of onion powder

4 teaspoons of garlic powder

1 1/2 cups of veggie broth or stock OR water if you like that bland shit

4 table spoons of tahini

2 table spoons of liquid aminos

2 teaspoons of liquid smoke (if you can't find it- it is usually with the barbecue sauces)

2 cups of whatever bbq sauce you have/love/or if you make your own

Put your oven on 350 degrees and spray down 2 different 8x8 baking dishes with brushed on oil or cooking spray. Mix ALL of the dry ingredients together in a large sized mixing bowl, make a small pit in the middle to add the wet ingredients. In a different bowl mix the rest of the ingredients together and once incorporated- add to the dry. Knead the dough for MAYBE 30 seconds... if you knead it too long it becomes really really chewy. Kind of like "beef" jerky- we don't want that today. Press your dough into your baking dishes and flatted down firmly, should be about 1/2-3/4 inches thick. Grab your sharpest knife and give this baby some love. Cut down the middle & then slice it into 8 different pieces. It's easier for when you add the bbq. Bake in the oven for 20 minutes. Remove and then add your bbq sauce. I like to flip my pieces over and add some to the bottom!! Place back in the oven for 25 minutes, just check on them to make sure that sauce hasn't started burning.

Chipolte Mac & Cheez

Ingredients-

1 box of big macaroni noodle shells (pictured is regular mac noodles but I have recently messed with this recipe with red lentil gluten free pasta and I LOVED IT)

1/2 diced white onion

5 garlic cloves minced

1.5 cups of veggie broth

1 cup of raw cashews- boil them while you prep your mac sauce/noodles

1 tablespoons of arrowroot or cornstarch

2 tsp liquid smoke

1.5 tsp cumin

1 tsp chili powder

4 tbsp nooch

3 tablespoons of chipolte peppers in adobo sauce (use only 1.5 tablespoons if you don't want a huge spicy kick)

4 table spoons of roughly chopped ciliantro

4 table spoons of chopped green onions

Start boiling those NOODLEZ and cashews (in separate pots of course lol). In a small pan sautee those onions and garlic, season them with a pinch of salt & pepper with a little oil. Sautee until soft. Add those onions and garlic to your blender along with your nooch, broth, arrowroot, liquid smoke, cumin, chili powder, and chipolte peppers. Scarp down as needed and once the cashews are done boiling (10 minutes) add them to your blended WITHOUT the water and keep that blender going until everything is liquified. Adjust taste as need- nooch for that cheezy kind of flavor, chipotle for spice, or garlic for that zing. Once your pasta is done- strain them and put that cheez sauce in the pot. Stir around a little bit and then add the pasta, cilantro, and green onion. ALL DONE! DAMN, you did gooooood.